Two-time Grand Slam champion Amelie Mauresmo has been considering retirement after a series of tough losses and insecurity that followed her return to action after appendicitis last year. The former world No.1 is openly explaining her current state of mind and her struggles. Here are some of Mauresmo’s statements taken from the Times Online article.
“I am emotional, I am sensitive, I am extreme,” she admitted. “Also, I am aware that I am intelligent and that’s why I am asking myself questions. Unfortunately I have been struggling to find clear answers and for months it was agony to play tennis.”
After losing to world No.101 Tamarine Tanasugarn last month in Doha, Mauresmo made more painful confessions. “I sometimes ask myself what the hell I am doing, playing in front of half-empty stands,” she said. “In the back of your mind there’s always something wondering if it wouldn’t be better to stop. I want to do well, but there’s always a grain of sand that gets in the works and clogs things up. It’s difficult to take.”
“In these difficult and frustrating moments, questions will come into my mind,” said the Frenchwoman. “For the moment, they are just questions. I don’t feel deep inside of me that it should be the end of my career. But when you have bad match after bad match, it starts to get into your mind. Physically, it was so hard after the surgery, but also mentally I struggled. For weeks after the operation I was depressed. I could not work out any reason for feeling the way I did, but I was very down and couldn’t seem to snap out of it. People were telling me it was normal, but I still wasn’t recovered by the time I got to Wimbledon.
“I made a mistake. I underestimated what the surgery had done to me. It was silly trying to play the French Open. That was when the doubt started to creep into my mind. Would I be able to come back at the level I expected? Compared to other players, I am far more introspective and self-searching. I want to be on the right track and doing what is right for me. I want to be happy out there on the court. I want to be comfortable. I don’t want it to be painful and a struggle. But for a long time that is exactly what it has been.“